My pregnancy was pretty easy for the most part and everything seemed golden. However, Friday June 1st, a week before he was born (and 8 weeks before my due date) was pure hell.
I went to bed early Thursday night feeling kind of off but ready to get to work early to make up time since I had a Dr. appointment later that morning. I woke up Friday morning at 3:30am feeling like I peed the bed; I hobbled into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I remember thinking, the liner in my underwear was white when I went to bed - and then it dawned on me that it was blood, it was everywhere, and I was constantly dripping more - it wouldn't stop!
A hundred thousand thoughts raced through my mind but only one remained.. I lost him.. I lost my baby. I screamed for Ben at the top of my lungs - crying uncontrollably - once he woke up and saw the bloody situation he in turn yelled for his Mom to help us. Teresa called Medlink since I was only 32 weeks pregnant and they told us to drive to the hospital ASAP. She literally put me in a diaper (from the stash she had when Mallory visited) since the bleeding wasn't stopping - and we raced to the hospital with the emergency flashers going.
Once we got to the hospital it was pretty much a blur; Teresa parked the truck while Ben helped me into the emergency room area. I remember walking into the emergency room and finding it completely empty which was weird because it's downtown Austin and there are a ton of drunks all over.
Ben finally was able to tell the person on duty what the issue was and I was wheeled up to the maternity ward. While Ben took care of all the paperwork I was getting set up in (one of many) rooms. We found out I was 1cm dilated and 80% effaced. They hooked me up to all kinds of machines, pumped me with magnesium & penicillin to stop the contractions/labor/pain, and put me on bed rest until he was born (I was told I wouldn't be going home without a baby). I was given two steroid shots (one in each leg) to help develop his lungs better which in turn burned and hurt like I was stung by a bunch of bees and made me hot.. burning up hot. Ben who is never cold told me my room was freezing, I had a fan on, and I was still burning up.
Turns out, the blood clot I passed that morning was the size of a grapefruit and it was from a tear in my placenta. Never found out the why or what had caused it to happen.
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{Wearing Ben's Packer shirt since nothing of mine fit}
In the hospital I had the most amazing nurses, I wish I could have remembered all of their names to write thank you notes - now I'm kicking myself that I never wrote their names down. All in all, I moved rooms 3 times and had 5 different beds, no joke. Since I was on bed rest and couldn't get up for anything (and I mean anything) - I had to learn how to go to the bathroom in a bed pan and Ben being the most amazing person EVER, helped give it to me and empty it after I had used it.
The nurses loved him, how could they not? Not only did he change the bed pan but he would also write down all the necessary things the nurses/doctors needed to know after every time it was used.
While on bed rest I was bored to death. I know now that I should have slept as much as possible but I didn't - mostly because I couldn't get comfortable. I was depressed because I was alone most of the time - Ben had to go back to work since we didn't know when I was actually going to give birth. I know that was hard for him. Upset that I couldn't get up, go for a walk down the halls, take a shower, heck getting out of the bed for a few hours would have been excellent, and in a sour mood because I had missed my baby shower. Annoyed because I couldn't even get a wheelchair ride (which at the time would have been a real treat!) I finally did get to go on a wheelchair ride to the NICU after Ben persuaded the doctor where Caleb would spend at least 2 weeks since he would most likely be a preemie.
Ben was a trooper, he slept on the pull-out couch for a week straight and never once complained about how cold it was in the room, how the makeshift bed hurt his back, or anything.
One day after work, Ben went out and bought me a needle point thing and a tractor to paint so the time would pass by faster. I should have started those projects when he first brought them to me because halfway through painting the tractor I went into full blown labor at 33 weeks 5 days.
{Contratctions are no joke!}
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Thank gosh for Megan (Ben's sister) for being with me Friday morning, June 8th, 2012 because you guessed it I passed another blood clot.. this time the size of a peach/mango. I remember getting up to go to the bathroom - I was past the bed pan stage at this point - and seeing her crouch down and screw up her face. Then she started screaming for the nurse, yanked on the emergency pull in the bathroom, and told me to stop trying to pee. Later she told me she saw the blood clot coming out and thought it was Caleb. After they got me back in the bed and hooked back up to the catheter; the doctor checked me and I was 2cm dilated and 100% effaced, he was ready but my body was being stubborn.
Megan called Ben at work and told him to get back to the hospital. Ben in turn called his Mom and my parents.
By the time I was given the epidural I was 7cm dilated and 100% effaced, Dr. Nash broke my water, and it was just a waiting game to get to the full dilation so I could push. We were ready to meet our son!
{Going to the OR}
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Labor and delivery was awful, they wheeled me into an OR because the NICU team had to be there for Caleb, I pushed for an hour. Caleb ended up getting stuck and Dr. Nash had to do an episiotomy - I didn't even know what that meant at the time but I wanted the pressure gone. During the delivery process, I lost a lot of blood and my IV machine ended up dying so I had uncontrollable shivers for about an hour afterwards.
But you know what.. all of it was worth it and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat because our son was perfect (besides being almost 7 weeks early). He was born 5 lbs 7.4 ounces and 19 inches long.
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Once we were settled in our nesting room; I was told I would have to get the feeling back in my legs and go to the bathroom before I'd be allowed to go to the NICU to see Caleb. I remember the nurse helping me to the bathroom, feeling dizzy, and then everything went black. I had passed out from the lack of blood during labor and delivery. When I finally came to - there were 6 nurses around me in a very cramped nesting bathroom waving smelling salts in my face. So it was back to bed and having another catheter inserted.
Caleb stayed in the NICU for almost a month. During his stay Ben and I were kicked out of our nesting room and had to go home without him. That was by far the worst feeling ever, I hated leaving my baby at the hospital. I didn't even get to say goodbye to him because I had a fever due to a kidney infection (from one of the many catheters) and wasn't allowed in the NICU. Needless to say, I went home very depressed and immediately went to sleep once we arrived home.
A few days later, I had to go back to work so I could save my maternity leave for when he actually got discharged. After I got off work everyday you bet your bottom I was up there with plenty of pumped breastmilk holding him, taking pictures of him, bathing him, and the like. Here are a few pictures of him while he was in the NICU..
{First pictures I saw of him}
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Then on July 2, 2012 we were finally able to take Caleb home with us! Which was the BEST feeling in the world.. it felt so surreal.
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