Eping

I'm not going to sugarcoat anything.. exclusively pumping was pure hell! 

Frustrating, painful, and incredibly hard.  I wanted the bonding time I had with Caleb in the NICU before I had to go back to work.  I was jealous of everyone that was able to hold Caleb and just snuggle - because when I tried my milk would let down and I just HAD to pump (since C lost his latch).  Or even taking a shower, when the hot water hit my skin I felt as if I needed a hand pump due to the milk that would just flow out by itself.  (To this day with C being 2 I could produce breastmilk if I really tried!)

{He never missed a meal}

I was tired all the time because I was pumping all the time.  Ben would help as much as he could; by washing the pump parts and having everything ready for me.  It was still exhausting.  I'm sure I was hell to be around.  My nipples cracked and bled no matter how much lanolin cream I smothered on - I even tried multiple types.  Many times I strongly considered shoving the parts down the garbage disposal and turning it on and then running over the actual pump with my car.

When I was milking my maternity leave - lwop style - after Ben had to go back to work so we at least had a paycheck coming in.  It seemed like as soon as I sat down to eat either C would cry and be hungry or it was time to pump again.  I ended up drinking lots of nursing support tea and taking nursing supplements just to provide C with enough breastmilk to keep him fed and happy.  I tried my best to have a frozen supply for a just-in-case time.. but I never had it.  

I never felt like I had time for myself - heck just getting a shower during the day was a miracle.  

When I had to go back to work; I of course had to take my pump along.  Since we don't have a pump room - I had to pump in the conference room when it wasn't occupied and I kept my milk in the fridge in the kitchen along with everyone else's food.  My co-worker George, was completely embarrassed when he inquired what was in the tubes in the fridge.. I almost peed myself I was laughing so hard!  

One day my pump wall adapter broke while I was at work - I promptly got on my phone and ordered another from Amazon and while being a Prime member the shipping was free thankfully even for overnight shipping!!!

All in all - I exclusively pumped for Caleb until he was 10 months old.. I would have gone longer except I got the flu then walking pneumonia and the medicine I was prescribed both times wasn't good for his system so we unthawed the little amount of frozen breastmilk I had and he started Similac formula.  

He was on Similac for a month and holy cow that stuff is EXPENSIVE, even with coupons!  A little TMI but breastmilk fed diapers are completely different than formula fed diapers! :) 

By 1 year Caleb was on whole milk and no bottles - the transition from bottles to sippy cups was awesome!  If only we could have the same transition from a paci to none.. ha - maybe I'm expecting too much there!